Friday, February 10, 2012

My heart is breaking...

Seriously, I feel like my heart is being ripped out of my chest.  Very few times in my life have I been this sad.  I have spent the last 12 weeks dreading the day I have to leave my baby and go back to work.  It's not that I don't love my job b/c I truly do... it's just that the thought of being away from Henry all day is horrible. 

I never thought I could be a stay at home mom... it always seemed like it would be lonely.  Now I know that I would actually love it.  I have loved being there every second of the day to take care of my little man.  With Jason still in school, working towards his Phd, we can't afford for me to quit or work part-time.  Sooooo... I will have to put on my big girl panties and do what millions of moms do every day.  Go to work and hope our babies don't think we have abandoned them.  I realize this isn't the case but that thought keeps popping up in my mind. 

We have a great daycare and I will be able to go nurse him on my lunch break most days.  It's not that bad; I admit that I'm a bit dramatic.  Please say a prayer for me on Tuesday that I can hold myself together and not cry all day.  Yes, it's Valentine's Day too... at least I have an excuse to ease my pain with chocolate.
This is what we are doing on a Friday night... wouldn't want to be anywhere else.
 On a lighter note, don't forget to enter my Dogeared Karma Necklace Giveaway! It ends on Sunday!

10 comments:

  1. Praying for you! I know that must be so tough!

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  2. Praying for you!! I cannot even imagine how hard that is!!

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  3. I saw your link on Kelly's Korner. I've been back to work since May 26 when my 12 week maternity leave was up. I still remember the exact date I went back! I am the same way - never dreamed I would enjoy being home so much.

    Everyone will be so glad to see you, and that will make the day a little better. All I did all day was show off pictures of my little guy and talk about how wonderful he is. They will understand!

    I will be praying for you on my way to work that morning!

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  4. I clikced over here from Kelly's Korner. I'm also on maternity leave with my third child and will be going back to work in a couple of weeks. Hang in there!! I remember how hard going back to work was the first time (and the second time). I'm sure I'll shed a few tears the day I take our newest baby to daycare for the first time as well. Whether your work or stay home, take heart that you are a wonderful mommy!!! I'll say a prayer for you on Tuesday.

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  5. Being a SAHM is lonely. I hope your first day back goes well.

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  6. aww, I'm so sorry. It is so hard leaving your little one and going back that first day. Before I was a mom, I used to think the same thing about never being able to be a stay at home mom, but now I know better. I'm in the same shoes as you though, my hubs is in school and will be in school for the next decade {literally}, so I don't have the option either :(. Good luck on your first day back! The good news is that it truly isn't as bad as you think it will be and you'll probably even enjoy being back in 'grown up world' a little bit again.

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  7. Thank you all so much for your kind comments and prayers! I do look forward to showing off my little man's pictures to my co-workers. I have PLENTY to show! I just wish I could bring him to work with me!

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  8. Hang in there girl! Although it was almost 11 years ago for me, I remember how hard it was. Believe it or not, sweet little Henry will not hold it against you. Prayers are heading your way!

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  9. oh, I remember these feelings all too clearly. I wrote a post very similar to this before I went back. Hang in there girl, it gets easier over time. ~Andrea www.dearbabyboutique.com

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  10. Oh, bless your heart, girl!

    It was not too long ago that my husband was in the process of completing his PhD work - Now you'll be able to say the same thing I have about that period in life "While my husband earned his PhD, I completed at PhT (Putting husband through!)."

    I completely understand your situation. Blessings on your journey and thanks for being a new friend at Operation Organization! :)

    ~H

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According to Ashley
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Kentucky, United States
Loving life and enjoying every second of it with my college sweetheart and husband of 3 years, Jason, my precious baby boy, Henry and our sweet dog, Lucie. Welcome to my blog - hope you enjoy this glimpse into my life!

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